Qhia cov me nyuam kev paub thiab kev lav phib xej
Yog tias koj nug tus menyuam yaus tom qab nws tau ua txhaum lossis tsis zoo, "Vim li cas koj ua li ntawd?" Koj yuav zaum tau "Kuv tsis paub" teb rov qab. Qhov tseeb yog, ntau tus menyuam yuav tsis paub vim li cas lawv tau ua dab tsi, yog li cov me nyuam yeej ua ncaj ncees. Cov laus hais kom ib tug menyuam yaus hais tias vim li cas lawv coj lawv tus kheej vim lawv xav tias: "Oh, yog tias kuv cia li muab rau lawv, vim li ntawd lawv yuav tsis ua li ntawd." Feem ntau ntawm cov niam txiv yog ua txhaum dua ntawm nug lo lus nug no txawm tias lawv yuav pom tau tias nws twb yeej tsis tiv thaiv qhov tshwm sim ntawm tus cwj pwm yav tom ntej.
Thov kom peb cov me nyuam yog vim li cas ho tsis hloov tus cwj pwm hloov, tab sis tam li niam txiv, peb yuav ua qhov no ntxiv mus.
Ua haujlwm rau neeg laus. Koj nyob hauv kev sib tham thiab ib tug neeg tuaj lig lig thiab koj nug, "Vim li cas koj lig?" Tus neeg laus no qhia rau koj li cas? Tej zaum nws yuav ua txhua yam dab neeg los yog excuses txog vim li cas nws lig. Hauv cov neeg laus, peb lees txais cov lus pom zoo uas tsim nyog tau lig dhau lawm thiab peb ua rau nws zoo txawm hais tias cov lus qhia tsis muaj teeb meem ntau.
Hmoov tsis, thaum peb nkag mus rau hauv tus cwj pwm ntawm pheej pheej nug tias "vim li cas" nyob ib puag ncig tsis zoo , peb yuav tsis qhia peb cov me nyuam los ua cov excuses rau lawv tus cwj pwm. Zoo nkauj tsis ntev, feem ntau yog thaum cov hluas, cov me nyuam yuav xav; "Zoo, yog tias kuv cia li muab qee yam laj thawj zoo vim kuv tau ua dab tsi, ces lawv mam li tawm ntawm kuv ib leeg." Qhov teeb meem yog qhov no tsis hloov tus cwj pwm. Yam tus me nyuam kawm tau yog tias kuv tuaj yeem ua raws li kuv xav ua raws li kuv xav ua ib zaj dab neeg zoo txog nws.
Nws kuj ua rau kuv muaj sijhawm los sib cav txog qhov no ces kuv niam kuv txiv yuav tsis tuaj yeem coj nws rov tuaj.
Michael Manos, Ph.D. yog lub taub hau ntawm Lub Chaw rau Pediatric Behavioral Health hauv Cleveland Clinic Children's Hospital thiab nrhiav Clinical thiab Program Director ntawm kev ntsuam xyuas thiab kev kho mob ntawm ADHD Center rau Kev Ntsuam Xyuas thiab Kev Kho Mob ntawm Cleveland Clinic.
Nws tau ua haujlwm ntau tshaj 25 xyoo hauv kev kho menyuam yaus, kev kawm tshwjxeeb, thiab menyuam yaus thiab cov hluas. Dr. Manos qhia peb kom tsis txhob nug peb cov menyuam yog vim li cas thiab peb pib nug 4 HWS.
Thawj zaug ntawm 4 YOG DAB TSI yog nug tus me nyuam kom pom tus cwj pwm.
- 1. Koj Ua Dab Tsi?
Qhov thib ob WHAT ua haujlwm nrog rau lub txim ntawm tus me nyuam tus cwj pwm.
- 2. Dab tsi tshwm sim thaum koj ua li ntawd?
Cov lus nug ob no taw qhia tus cwj pwm thiab kev rau txim. Los ntawm cov txheej txheem no, piav txog Dr. Manos, koj pab tau tus menyuam kom paub nws tus kheej-saib xyuas lawv tus cwj pwm thiab pom dab tsi cuam tshuam rau lawv tus cwj pwm muaj nyob ntawm thaj chaw thiab cov neeg nyob ze lawv. Qhov no yog qhov tshwj xeeb tshaj yog rau cov me nyuam nrog ADHD uas yuav muaj teeb meem txuas cov teeb meem ntawm lawv tus cwj pwm thiab cov kev coj ua tus cwj pwm ua.
Dr. Manos piav txog ob peb qhov kev txiav txim siab txog kev siv qhov 4 XYAUM. "Feem ntau cov me nyuam yuav tsis qhia rau lawv tias lawv tau ua dab tsi; lawv yuav kiam rau lwm tus - lwm tus me nyuam los yog koj - yog tias lawv muaj keeb kwm ntev koj nug lawv yog vim li cas. Yog li ntawd, lawv yuav rov qab ua lav paub kev lav phij xauj. "Nws tawm tswv yim pib nrog thawj thawj ob zaug ua ntej. "Lub ntsiab lus tseem ceeb ntawm no yog qhia ib tug me nyuam los saib xyuas thiab piav txog lawv tus kheej tus cwj pwm, kom saib xyuas lawv tus kheej, thiab saib xyuas qhov tshwm sim lawv ua tau nyob hauv ntiaj teb puag ncig lawv," nws piav.
Thaum ib tug me nyuam pib ua tiav ntawm qhov kev nkag siab thiab kev paub txog ntawm nws tus cwj pwm, niam txiv ntxiv tau ntxiv rau ob qho tib si WHATS uas muaj feem rau kev coj cwj pwm yav tom ntej.
- 3. Koj Ua Tau Dab Tsi?
- 4. Dab Yeej Yuav Tshaj Lawm Yog Tias Koj Tias Ua Dab Tsi?
"Yog li yav tom ntej, kev rau txim yav tom ntej," Dr. Manos hais. "Qhov 4 WHATS yog ib lub tswv yim zoo, vim muaj coob tus neeg tsis paub lawv tus kheej, tsis yog lawv tus kheej, thiab loj hlob tuaj mus deflect liam, muab excuses, thiab tsis raug lav ris." 4 WHATS addresses this and helps tus me nyuam kawm thiab xyaum coj tus cwj pwm zoo los hloov cov kev coj tsis tsim nyog.
Xws li nrog tag nrho cov tswv yim tswj cwj pwm, nws tseem ceeb heev kom nco ntsoov tsis txhob siv lub 4 HNUB thaum koj chim siab los yog thaum koj tus me nyuam chim siab. Lub siab thiab tsis muaj kev sib haum xeeb , tsis yog hais tias tsis yog kev thab plaub yuav ua haujlwm zoo dua thiab pabcuam rau kev kawm - thiab qhov kev paub ntau yuav txaus siab rau ob leeg niam txiv thiab menyuam.
Source:
Michael Manos, PhD. Xam phaj xov tooj / email xov xwm. Lub Kaum Ob Hlis 8, 2009 thiab Lub Ib Hlis 18, 2010